A tale of two wolves is an old Cherokee Indian legend that illustrates the constant battle we fight within ourselves on where we spend our energy - good or evil. One version goes like this:
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Which wolf do you feed regularly?
What are some practices you might take on or drop to ensure "Good" always wins?
How can a gratitude perspective help you?
Hope you are creating what you dream of! - my wise teacher
I recently reconnected with a wise teacher of mine, and in her usual way, she left me with some wise and simple words: "Hope you are creating what you dream of!"
Many times, we go through life doing what we do but not what we really want to do. Why is that?
Fear and doubt are the main reasons we do not create what we dream of.
We don't start what we must because we get stuck in the what-if's: "What if I fail?" "What if I am not good enough?" "What if I don't know how to do it?" Or the numbing "What will people think or say?" I see this happen in my coaching and in myself. Take for instance, this blog. I had sat on this specific blog idea for over 6 months (yes, that means I had other ideas for blogs for over ten years, yikes). It took a chat with my colleague down the 7 flights of stairs at work where I was rattling off my what if's and she said "So what? Just write the blog."
Thanks for the reminder, dear teacher, and thanks to my friends, colleagues, clients who create their dreams everyday and inspire me to do the same. Talk about support pillars huh!
Last week marked the end of my coaching certification classes. Over these past 25 weeks, I've deepened my coaching expertise with 7 peer coaches and 5 master coaches from across the globe. I feel many things, among which are a sense of accomplishment for what has been and excitement for what is to come. I still have to complete my 100 hours of coaching and oral exams to get the official certification, but for today, I am celebrating!
This experience has been quite challenging and has stretched my growth beyond my imaginations. I had two pivotal moments of almost quitting, first when I felt overwhelmed with the medium of instruction being virtual and second when I took on an expanded role at work. In both instances, my outstanding 12 mentor-coaches, helped me persevere through!
I'm often asked the difference between mentors and coaches, and here is my take:
Mentor: someone who, through their own lived experiences, uses their experiences to help guide you. Because mentors use their own experiences as the guide, it is important to be aligned on what you want to learn from your mentor. As with many things, you will probably end up learning more than you bargained for.
Coach: someone who, through their fierce courage and love, can reach in to bring out your best self and lived experiences to help guide you. Coaches may not have direct experience in your field, but they should have a unique gift of bringing out your own best self. In the end, you have to decide which path you want to take, the coach helps you see it clearly.
Some readers asked me what aliveness means to me. One of the expressions of aliveness for me is providing opportunities for people to grow, develop and create for themselves and others. An example is we recently hosted a Speed Mentoring event connecting 45 mentees to 19 exec mentors for an hour at work. What makes me come alive is the culmination of three things:
Over the past few months, I have given and received more feedback than usual, and I like this new normal. I think it is because of my coaching certification program coupled with increased stakeholders at work. That got me thinking about the unspoken rules I try to follow when giving or receiving feedback.
As a quick refresher, here are some of the spoken rules when giving feedback:
When I give feedback, I try to remember these unspoken rules:
Speaking of feedback, here is a request to you (post in comments below): What topics would you like to read more of from me?
This blog represents my experiences and convictions as at when I wrote them. As I grow, my perspectives may expand. Take and share only what resonates with you, and leave the rest. Happy reading!